Creatively challenged!

I have no idea how I got into this in the first place! With my life full of brilliantly creative people, I have always realized that creativity is not my forte. Ask for ideas and I go brain dead - straight! Ask me to think about colors, ask me to "create" something beautiful and I am in a deep lurch.I can appreciate beauty in every form, I know that but creating it is not something I find it within my limits.

Writing is something I always liked, mingling and playing with words just for fun and learning new ways of expressions. I like to express through words.It was something very difficult to do when I started using it as a tool of expression but now they have become "my" way of expression.  I am working on the skills of simplifying things yet give my words a refined touch. It is a long journey and I m sure the path ahead would be fun so long as writing is just writing and not a form of art.
What irks me every now and then is that  after making writing as my source of income, I don't see myself doing what I wanted to. I write, it gets rehashed and the whole thing goes down the drain. It is always more than one mind corrupting the original thought. I write but I don't get to play with words. With millions of restrictions and compliances set as criteria for approval and a number of brains working on it at the same time, the idea or the sense of expression is lost somewhere.
I was told I am a conditioned writer and that I need to explore my dimensions. Well first I need to figure out if writing is something I need to continue for a living, then I need to know what kind of writing I need to get into and then finally on the Hows and whats of it. So what started off as a simple passion went on to become my bread and butter and now finally into a profound confusion - again!  So I seem to be creatively challenged with "writing" as a form of art as well.