A Superhero Chronicle

Once upon a time, in the world of advertising, a conspicuously inconspicuous girl was striving to make her mark. She came from the world of science and her enthusiasm to explore her limits landed her into the jarring world of creativity. She wanted to be a Copy Writer. If nothing she wanted to be a simple writer. Her love for English language made her believe that this love is enough to get her through the grueling journey of writing.

Her inception into copy writing took place under the supervision of a pretty lady who supported her tottering steps. The pretty lady was kind enough to be patient and take her through the basics of this art. But as luck may have it , the lady had to leave sooner than expected for better prospects lay ahead for her. The lady's departure came at a time when the girl had just identified this world as fairly fit for her survival. And the time after her departure left her completely clueless all of a sudden.

Lost in the huge world of art and creativity,without the shield of her mentor's criticism - industry jargons, experienced opinions, dreadful deadlines started pouncing on her. The girl's illusion that it is possible to learn any art was replaced by a strongly convincing thought that creativity is inherent and can never be cultivated. The absolute time of distress came when she was caught in an never ending loop of disconnected feedbacks with no rescue. The loop got deeper day by day and she knew that she was stuck in something totally unknown. She wanted to move towards the known resisting the urge to run away or quit.

Clarity of despair as they call it, she dragged herself through this ordeal  hoping to see a different dawn everyday secretly wishing for a superhero to rescue her. She convinced herself that the worst that could possibly happen was that she could be thrown out for inefficiency  Hardly a scary thought for someone who was used to falling and getting up! So it would just be one more great fall.

One fine morning, a strange looking man, casually dressed with lots of tattoos in display was introduced as the replacement for the girl's mentor,her new boss. The girl just hoped that he was half good as the pretty lady. A brief talk with him told her that it might not be a bad idea to stretch the despair to a teensy weensy bit of hope and see what happens. She was obviously in for a huge surprise. This man turned out to be excellent beyond imagination. Be it as a teacher, mentor or a boss.

He taught her the rules and the basics of surviving in this profession. He taught her the art of thinking which solved most of her prior problems. Realistic as he was, he could always churn out a logical explanation and reason for all his criticisms. This convinced the girl and made her learn more.She actually looked forward to his approval and worked hard in terms of absorbing knowledge just to improve. She found a deep rooted respect for this man, for he used his authority to get good work done and stood firm when something didn't make sense, which was a rarity .

Not all bosses give their subordinates the freedom to think, decide and stick to it. He never held the reigns when it came to taking decisions. In fact he encouraged it. According to him it was ok to make mistakes and then learn. He imbibed a kind of  independence and confidence in her that gave her the courage to move forward and take a leap of faith. Her heart broke at the idea of looking for a change but she knew she had to. As luck would have it, a good opportunity presented itself to her. She wanted to take it up but she was terribly scared for the whole world said it was not a wise thing to do with just six months of work experience. After much thought she decided to talk to her boss.

The conversation that followed took her perception of him to a whole new realm. When she told him she wanted to leave, he asked her to go. When she asked him if it was a wise thing , he said all such prejudices are absolute bullshit. When she asked her if she could shift to any other kind of writing and be something else, all he said was, "You can even be the President of India, its just that you need to figure out how!".

Now she didn't know much about the work environment but for her, this conversation meant a lot. An encouragement that was fair and true. An inspiration that was genuine yet blunt. She then she knew that she had finally found the Superhero she was waiting for. But alas! for a very short while.

PS: This is exclusively for the man who taught me anything is possible, that insanity is an antidote to sanity and finally, being a nut is not that bad after all!
Thank you Siddhant for everything , I didn't have the guts to say this to you and hence vented it out here.

Phantom personified...

"Stay!", he said. She stopped with her eyes lowered. Time froze for a few seconds before he whispered in her ears," Look at me". She did not react. He repeated coming closer, his voice almost cold. She looked at him with tears shining in her eyes but staunchly refusing to fall out. "Go", that is all he said moving out of her way. And she walked out.

It was a get together called for no particular reason she knew of. She was invited and all she knew was this was her one chance to see him again after months. She didn't want to go to the party, she didn't want to meet people but the prospect of seeing him one more time was irresistible. She dressed up for the occasion meticulously. She knew she didn't have to make any effort with her looks that day because she was all blushes and smiling to herself, which was more than enough. But this occasion deserved an effort,however insignificant. She had waited for this day for months. She left home floating in the air envisioning his smile throughout her way to the venue.

The moment she reached, she was greeted by her friends. They were all surprised to see her all decked up and happy. For them, she was never a girl interested in parties. She attended them but just for the heck of it or because some friend persuaded. So seeing her excited in the first place was novel to them. They all complimented her on her looks while her eyes were constantly searching the crowd. She knew he had to be around somewhere.  She  politely thanked everyone around her and started drifting away around the room. After looking around thoroughly and not finding him anywhere, she gave up and went up to a common friend to inquire about him. She was informed that he is around somewhere but has been on call right from the moment he entered. She felt her spirits sky rocketing again. Just knowing that he is somewhere in the vicinity was more than enough for her. She waited.

She found a corner for herself and sat looking around the room. The party dragged meanwhile with people talking, eating and drinking. She just observed people while consciously being aware of the clock ticking away. She idled away for almost an hour waiting. The eager wait had killed her hunger and her enthusiasm was ebbing away slowly. She looked at the time and realized that it was time to leave. Just when she was considering a discreet exit, a common friend came up to her and said, " Why is he arguing so much on the call? Man, its over an hour. He has not entered the party yet. Is it his girlfriend again?"

She just stared at the friend. She didn't know what to say. She had not spoken to him for a long time. She didn't know anything about what was happening. All she wanted to do was see him smile, once more. Just once. Then why was she numb suddenly? She didn't know.She just mumbled something to the friend and left. On her way out, she saw him on the entrance. He just looked at her and blocked her way and said, "Stay!".

No more tears!

They say ignorance is bliss.Oh yes!It indeed is. Who would know this better than her? She didn't live on the edge anymore. She didn't wait for his call anymore.She didn't fear hearing his voice go strained anymore.  She didn't wake up everyday to look at the rising sun to pray for a better day. She didn't sight the moon to weep. She didn't look at the stars to wish anymore. She didn't dread the moment when he would declare his engagement anymore. She didn't fear losing him anymore.For she knew it was a lost battle. It was impossible to fight herself and it was too much of a task to fight him.

She took the easiest way out and that was to go through it. She chose to confront herself. What if he rejected her? What if she lost him? What if she never saw him again? All these somehow weighed better than the constant agony of the incorrigible fear. All her fears were realised when the path  she chose greeted her with outright rejection, insanity and a permanent loss. But it didn't hurt as much as she had expected. She knew this is where she had to give up for she didn't have anything more to give and she did so. Cutting him off her was easy.

Without hope life was easier.She could think of him anytime, anywhere without any obligations. She could love him as much as she wanted without having to express it. She could pray as and when she wanted. She could breathe easy with nothing on mind except the present and the reality. It was a relief beyond measure. Yes, ignorance of the unknown ,the future, is indeed a bliss - one that paves way to simpler living !